Why are you so quiet? Wow! She's so quiet.
Do you ever talk?
Can you talk? Are you mute?
The first characteristic that anyone ever notices in a shy person is their silence. When you find yourself alone with a shy person, it’s almost as if you were by yourself because the chances are you’d have to give them the sky before a word passes their lips. Weirdly a lot of people mistake it for being conceited or having no interest. It’s not.
Trust me, I was born shy.
First, I will not start the conversation. I will not engage a stranger in a nice gesture to make new friends. Hell no. I’m never going to speak up unless you ask me a direct question which cannot be answered by a shake of my head. Even when I do speak, I will opt for the shortest answer possible because the less words I say the less thoughts I will have to keep me up at nights. It doesn’t mean I don’t care about the subject not your ideas. In fact, other’s opinions and ideas have the highest preoccupation in my mind. They give me something to think about, something else to have my mind wrapped around instead of the idea of having to make my presence known to another person.
Silence is the safest route to stay a wallflower which is the ideal position for a shy person. Don’t put me on the spotlight. Don’t ask for my opinion. If I want you to have it, I will either write it down or send you an email but please restrain from a face-to-face conversation. I know most people think they’re doing me a favor by trying to bring out that certain spark they see hidden in me – in some ways it is – but in the moment you’re just giving my brain unnecessary stress and bring out my nicely sealed colors. Blushing is not fun.
Believe me, none of us are clueless to the universe’s way and if needed we’ll known exactly what to do. Don’t be surprise if a shy person ever crosses the bridge to social butterflies’ town and starts to spill long forgotten facts and secrets. That’s one of the perks of being shy – people talk like you’re not in the room. I know more secrets about my family members than I ever wanted to know but I’m too shy to make them acknowledge that I’m in the room.
People love to talk about the weirdest subjects around shy people just because they know pigs will fly before we actually raise our voice to tell them to stop. My best friend does it all the times. (No matter how close we are, don’t talk about intimacy or anything related while you’re around me). Even when I’m used to her, the first five minutes of any new conversation has to be initiated by her.
I don’t know how 18th century shy people got around to do any big achievement but I know this century has made it a lot easier. We get our confidence from phones and computers. Kind of like I’m doing right now. If we were in real life, crickets would be having a party right now in the silent room. Most of my conversations are done in polite monosyllables and timid smiles expect when we’re talking about math and reading – my overexcitement win over my shyness with these subjects.
One attribute no social butterfly can have in higher quantity than a shy person is observance. We observe everything – after all, how else would we ever know anything about anything? The tiniest detail will not pass unnoticed by the shy person in the room because we’re not deafened by the sound of our voice. Silence makes every other senses sharper so we can take in what we’re missing by staying in the background. And we can learn better what not to do in a certain place or situation to draw the least amount of attention to ourselves as possible.
We’re simply silent and calm neither deaf, blind, nor stupid. Some of us actually enjoy being alone and let our imagination run wild. Lastly, we’re not all the same people. There’s a range of shyness from only to strangers to every living creature.
Alone is not lonely. Shy is not conceited.